Stay On Track By Focusing On Feedback Not FailureMay 05, 2022
Have you ever struggled to take action because you feel like it didn’t work in the past? Have you ever felt stuck because you've failed time and time again before to create change?
If you want to stay on track after your WLS, there's no substitute for taking action. You must take action to translate your goals and dreams into reality. Yet so often this is where people struggle and get stuck!
One of the main reasons for this is because they've linked their lack of success with taking action in the past to their self-worth.
So, instead of their past results being simply a collection of information, it becomes a measure of whether they’re valuable and worthy! Of course then they're going to hold themselves back from truly going for it, because who wants to risk feeling less worthy?
If this sounds like you, then one of the biggest favours you can do for yourself is to stop making the outcome of any action you take so much more significant and meaningful than it needs to be.
Cut any link you’ve mentally or emotionally created between ‘results’ and your self-worth.
To do this you simply need to notice when you’re doing it: when you’re holding back from taking action, reflect on what you fear the action will bring, and notice when it’s about keeping your worth ‘safe’.
It's also really important to let go of the concept of ‘failure’ and embrace ‘feedback’ instead.
If we believe in ‘failure’ then we’ll generally try to avoid it, which can limit our action-taking and also our growth. ‘Feedback’ on the other hand is information - on what worked and what didn’t work. When you choose to embrace the philosophy that there is no failure, only feedback, then what you get is permission and freedom to give things a go, make mistakes, look at the information you’re getting and adjust your course as you go along!
This is most likely what you did as a child - learning to colour by scribbling outside the edges of the lines, learning to walk by falling over time and time again, learning to speak by trying sounds out until, over time and practise, they came together into words. Did you let ‘failure’ stop you then? No! You took it as feedback, because back then you didn’t even know about the concept of ‘failure’.
With your goals, go back to that curious and persistent mindset of a child – see what works and what doesn’t, and give yourself permission to play, to test and measure, and to experiment to achieve what you ultimately want.
For example, if you plan to go to the gym in the evening but it doesn't happen - rather than feeling like you've 'failed' or that you're a 'failure', look for the feedback and the valuable lesson. Perhaps the evening isn't the best time for you to exercise because you feel too tired and you need to try the morning or lunchtime? Perhaps you'd benefit from finding an exercise partner so that you're more likely to go? Perhaps you don't feel comfortable in a gym, and you would possibly enjoy a different type of movement program more, like an exercise video at home, walking, or a yoga / pilates class? And so on!
So, instead of making your results about your self-worth (because by the way, you're already worthy and always have been regardless of what you do or don't achieve), instead simply see them as feedback that you can learn from, so that you can continue to adjust and move towards your goals.